Thursday, September 1, 2011

Thankful Thursdays {My Best Friend}

You know that person who can finish your sentences?That person who you can tell your deepest secrets to?
The person who, as you try to describe something in your mind, he can already see it in his?
Yeah, well that person is my best friend.
And I married him.
Lately many people close to me have been ending their marriages and this saddens me deeply.
And while I don't know the depth of their circumstances, mainly I just hear either one of the sides of the story, I sometimes wonder if maybe, just maybe, they could have tried a little bit harder to stay together.
Sure, divorce is warranted in cases of abuse or adultery, although I've seen some couples heal after the latter, love, it seems, is what the answer is.
But most important- is forgiveness.
"It takes two to tango", my grandmother always  said.
And in fact it is her story that has given me strength.
Her story is one of forgiveness and love.
Having gone through two abusive and adulterous relationships, hers is not a story that ends in happiness.
But her courage and determination in saving her marriage (the 2nd one) is one that I admire and have kept close to my heart.
Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.
One certainly comes into marriage with an open heart and with the best of intentions to be together forever. Two young starry - eyed lovers, hand in hand, ready to conquer the world.
But when does that end?
When do the lovers, hand-in-hand end?
Many times, I read of couples who simply stop being couples when the children are born.
They stop being John and Jane and become mom and dad.
The dates stop.
The flirting comes to a halt.
The lovemaking becomes a chore.
The communication ceases.
And they are now strangers.

My husband and I are still friends.
26 years ago we met.
He was my best friend then and he is my best friend now.
Does he get on my nerves now and again?
As I do on his.
Do I pursue my own interests and does he pursue his?
Of course he does.
But just last night I expressed to him that I wanted ice cream.
He said "Hurry before the kids find out! Let's sneak out and go get a cone!"
"But I just showered and I have my PJ's on. I can't walk into the Ice Cream place! I don't even have my bra on!" I countered.
"I'll walk in and get it. We can eat it in the truck."
And with that we snuck out and we ate our ice cream on a hot summer night. The two of us holding hands eating ice cream at 10 o'clock at night.
This is not the first time we've done this.
And sure we can do this now because our kids are old enough to stay home alone.
But we always, make time to be alone at least once a week.
We have a date.
Just Sergio and Patty time.
Not mom and dad.
And we leave the past behind.
We forgive.
Nobody is "flawless".
That's our motto here.
We've weathered the storm of unemployment, illness, no-money-college days, no-money-post college days, new babies, late work-nights, horrible bosses, temptations, and everything else that comes with being a breathing human being.
But you know what?
I go to bed at night talking to my best friend.
We're in it for the long haul.
Next year we'll celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. No one on my side of the family has ever accomplished this and is still married.
That is truly sad.
They've all thrown in the towel much too soon.
My husband has taught me that it takes courage to work things out and that we don't just "bail" at the first sign of trouble.
Because in the end.
Well in the end, we just have each other.

Would you like to comment?

  1. I wish we could make sure everyone in the world reads this. It's beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.


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