Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When It Rains It Pours

First of all, let me say thank you to those of you who have commented, sent me e-mails and private messages regarding my last post. I really appreciate your kind words and advice.
I am still dealing with "it" as best as I can without resorting to medication. 
However, if it comes to that, my doctor and I will try different meds to see  what works best. 
But with me at a newish job, I am leery of starting any new meds, lest they impact my job performance. 
Now and then I will update you all on my progress but I don't want my blog to be all about depression. 
I want to continue being the creative person I have been, but it is still so hard.
This past week has been especially hard since my little guy suffers from night terrors. 
It is not fun.
I have been praying for him to get over them soon so we can all get a good nights sleep.
He went from sleeping in our bed, to sleeping on our floor, to sleeping on his own-in the study.
He refuses to sleep in his own room.
Nevermind that his sister and brother are right next door.
He just won't have it.
We are planning a move this summer and we are specifically looking for an 2nd bedroom downstairs so we can have it be the little guy's room.
This past week I have started singing to him before he goes to sleep.
We have found that the John Lennon song "Beautiful Boy" really calms him down.
It is indeed a beautiful song for my beautiful boy.
And because I am feeling inspired right.this.second.
I just created this printable to share with you.
  Feel free to click on the above image and save it to your computer.
Then you can print it out on a piece of 8.5x11 cardstock.
And with this, I leave you~
 "Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better.."

PS. The winner of the My Memories Digital Software pack is:
Amy Redd
Thanks so much for entering.
And for all of you, please be watching as I announce a super duper giveaway in February.
You won't want to miss it!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

About Depression

This is something I've been dealing with for about a year but was reluctant to talk about. 
Ever since my SAH (you can read about it here.) 
things just haven't been right. 
My doctors warned me that my brain would likely remain "damaged" from the trauma forever. 
I refused to accept it and jumped right back into my life 
as if nothing had happened. 
Big. Mistake.
It took months of frustration, anger, sadness and finally
acceptance, to figure out that the "old" me is gone and the "real" me is
Unless you've dealt with a horrible disease or a traumatic event, it will be difficult to understand where I am coming from.
I know. I used to feel that way too.
Why couldn't people just bounce back? 
I mean, I was sympathetic to other's suffering and plight, but I thought that would never happen to me.
Remember, I was a "perfectly healthy" 40 ish woman in the prime of her life. 
No known risk factors.
But yet, it did  happen to me.
And here we are almost 2 years later and  I am still dealing with the after effects of this hemorraghic stroke.
For about a year now, I have been feeling less and less like myself.
Sadness sometimes envelops me for no known reason.
I no longer find pleasure in the things I used to enjoy.
(Remember how I mentioned that I don't care for Christmas anymore? If you know me, you know I LOVE (D) Christmas!)
I hardly ever dance anymore and every day waking up is a chore.
It takes all that I can muster to get through my work day and my creativity is almost non-existant.
I am gone.
Well, almost.
I started to google "symptoms of depression" and 
the more I read about it the more a little light bulb went off 
in my head: I may be depressed!
I know, it's not something to be excited about.
But I am the type of person who is always searching for answers. I am the type who solves problems and always wants resolution. {I am an accountant by trade, btw}.
So here I am about to start another journey. 
My neurologist did tell me at my last visit that 
my symptoms are related to the brain injury.
He asked me what I wanted to do about it.
I don't know.
I'm still searching for an answer.
Thanks for reading.


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