Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Thankful Thursday #1-Too Much To Carry Alone



It's been 3 months.
It hasn't been easy.
Having a stroke at my age.
A bleeding stroke they call it.
*******
I am in perfect health.
I am planning my Easter dinner.
I talk with my husband.
Making dinner plans.
Shopping at the mall.
Brain being squeezed...
I can't feel my legs.
I can't feel my body.
I am carried into the house.
I can't talk.
I am now in the ER.
I begin to convulse.
The lights dim.

{Me. 3 months post stroke.}

It hasn't been easy.
Tears shed.
Poked and prodded.
Impatience.
Laying in bed.
Boredom.
*******
Learning to walk again.
Will I ever dance again? I asked.
I prayed.
I begged.
I cried again.
A burden on my family.
My yoke-heavy.

Art by-Greg Olsen


Then I remembered what I had read:
"...discipleship is not a promise of protection from pain, hardships, and disappointment. True disciples know that a sinless life was realized only once in mortality. Their faith in the perfect One fills them with joy and strength to carry on and find hope even in uncertain times. The apostle Paul observed, "For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content....every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need" (Phil. 4:11-12)
Through years of discipleship, Paul had learned that joy and fullfillment come through a testimony of the Redeemer, not from an elevated standing in the world."
I have learned to look for blessings even in the hardest of trials.
Being in bed for 2 months gave me a lot of time to think and to converse with a kind Father in Heaven.
To understand my purpose in life.
To understand the purpose of this stroke.
As I read and studied the scriptures, as I talked with HIM every day
I learned to listen.
I learned to appreciate.
I learned not to complain.
My yoke gradually became lighter.
I turned my recovery over to HIM.
I am not the master of my life.
I am not the architect of my destiny.
HE has all the power.
I give HIM complete control.
I carry HIS yoke now.
It is indeed light.

art by Greg Olsen


"When we are honest, we acknowledge that mortality requires too much for us to carry alone. As His disciples, however, He makes all things possible when we take His yoke upon us."
-Camille Fronk Olson



This has become a carry-with-me little book.
It had me think a lot about the Savior and
relying on Him more.
"Take my yoke upon you...and ye shall find rest unto your souls. -Matthew 11:29.

And, oh, by the way.
I can dance again :)



2 comments:

  1. This was wonderful to read. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences and then uplifting words. You are wonderful! I'm so glad that you can dance again. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tears of joy for you. Thank you for sharing your story, your strength in God and faith. This was beautiful.

    ReplyDelete

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