Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My father's anniversary


(My dad is the one on the left, sitting)
For the past few nights I have been having some very vivid dreams about my father. He passed away 4 years ago, suddenly of a heart attack. And even though he and I weren't real close, (my parents divorced when I was 4) these dreams are quite emotional for me. So much so that I wake up sobbing because I miss him. In my dreams, he comes to me and hugs me then he says goodbye, but in my dream, I feel like a little girl who wants to spend some more time with her daddy. He says goodbye and I start bawling like a kid. I get up with my eyes all crusty from the tears and sniffling..wondering what the ????
I hadn't realized that on Feb. 5th will mark the 4th anniversary of his death. In our church we believe in baptisms for the dead. I have done some genealogy for my dad and when Josh turns 12 this October he has volunteered to be "baptized" for his grandpa. My dad wasn't the most religious person nor was he what you can call a "great dad or a great example" but he's the only dad I ever had. He was extremely intelligent (he was an attorney) and very good looking if I may say so myself (I look a lot like him ;) hee hee
I understand that Heavenly Father gave me my parents for a reason. I understand that because they did not have the gospel in their lives, they weren't the greatest parents. But they did teach me some good lessons (ie.not to be like them). And my grandma did give birth to my dad (so thanks grandma :D ). So here I am, saying good-bye over and over to my father in my dreams and feeling his love for me...even after his death. Funny how things turn out...

2 comments:

  1. What a great tribute.. to your father. Cherish your dreams. How exciting for Josh, what a great experience that will be for him.

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  2. That really will be an amazing opportunity for Josh. My father was not a member either and he also passed away very suddenly several years ago. On my wedding day, before the sealing, my husband served as proxy and was baptized for my dad. It's an amazing experience.

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